I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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