I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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