Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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