The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
