so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
