Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
