Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
