hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
