Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
