My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
