i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
