Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
