How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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