someone get that fucking seahorse.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
