We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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