So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I think my vagina is haunted
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
