There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
