Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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