You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
