Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
