I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
The Olympian is in my bed
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