Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
