I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Randomize