oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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