i just google imaged poop.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
