My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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