Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
