you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
