Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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