Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Pooping to opera.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize