i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
