I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize