Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
