I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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