im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
you inspire me to be a worse person
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
