um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
