Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
