I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
