Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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