franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
