there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
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