What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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