Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
