I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
