I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
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