You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
