belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
