A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
