nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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