I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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