a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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