Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
is it fun? or sober?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
