You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
