last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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