two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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