1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize