I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
