So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
