Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
