Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
