The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
