I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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