Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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