Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
