Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Randomize
