i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
